The First Time

Hollywood said that heroin was cool

it was for people without inhibition

artists with a part-time career in thievery

who led exciting lives

and fucked hot, crazy chicks

with bony backs and cute tits

and my life had always been boring

so from a young age

I wanted to try it

I saw the shit the first time

on an early-morning in December

in the hands of a 31-year-old man

who apparently knew he was gonna fuck me that night

but I just wanted his drugs

so I went home with him

and I remember lying backside on his bed

unable to put my finger on

the kind of euphoria I was feeling

it was so strong that this stranger, shooting up bedside

seemed like a savior

sheltering me from the cold of a New York December

and numbing my own condescending self

that never ceased to insult or bicker

till the second I was touched

by the transcendent relaxation

characteristic of the opiate-derivative

Diamorphine

ultimately, it's a semi-synthetic substance

which could've fooled me

since it felt so fucking

real

and right

and perfect

even though I woke up the next morning

nauseous and sweaty

and at noon, while I was walking down St. Marks

I puked my guts out on the sidewalk

and I felt really shitty about myself

because he didn't take down my number

but even after all that

I wouldn't have changed that perfect moment

in his room

for anything