Sex and Xanax

A few Wednesdays ago, when I was sitting on his living room couch, Nigel asked me if I’d heard what happened the night before. I said no. My friend Franco is a great kid, but he’s gotten into this habit of blowing lines of Xanax while drinking...so, he’s made a number of logistical errors over the past few weeks. One of them, I was told, was when Franco tried using men’s shaving gel for lubricant (he couldn’t find lube or lotion anywhere, and figured it was the next best thing). Around four a.m., the girl he brought home with him started screaming (apparently...it burns...), waking Nigel (and Franco, to an extent) from his slumber. I laughed really hard. Definitely a good story.